Solitary Confinement

Excuse me while I rant.
I am going insane.
Seriously.
I have been living in this house, and will continue to do so, COMPLETELY ALONE, for 2-3 weeks.
It is just a short amount of time before I start to have hallucinations.
I’ve also started to sing a lot just to give my mouth exercise. Honestly, I give props to whoever thought of solitary confinement as an punishment. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I need human interaction!
And I’m not even allowed to leave. Frankly I don’t want to leave because there’s hardly anywhere to go. Because everyone else is on school. I should be in school, but due to some ‘technical issues’, everything was delayed. So not only do I have an unwanted extension to this seemingly endless summer vacation, I also have to bear these 17-ish days alone AND I will have a shitload of work to catch up to when I do eventually get to school. What a way to start a semester. Funny thing is that when my siblings where here, I’d wish so much that they’d just get outta my way. And when I was in high school, I used to wish I’d have an extension to the summer, no matter how short. Not anymore man. Not anymore. This is Uni, a whole different ball-game.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to survive this place. Les parents go to work and travel all the time, so I can’t even try to follow them around and pretend I’m interested in what they’re are doing just to pass away the time.. And TV has reached a new level of TERRIBLE here. I always lose interest in things I do repeatedly so as at now, I can’t even stand music and I can only read novels or textbooks for short amounts of time.
And I have also discovered that you don’t know  how creepy your house is till it’s just you in it, late at night. Heck, I’m creeped out in the afternoon! I mean, yes, in Uni I will be living on my own but the rooms there are not at all as big as a house and there are few places serial killers can hide. In a big house the possibilities are endless. Every little sound makes me feel like the Texas chainsaw guy is behind me and I already start saying my last prayers. And do you know what else happened last night?
A shooting! A fucking shooting!
Like ten minutes away from my house on foot. What are the odds? I just thank God I didn’t wake up at the shots because my brain would have gone into overdrive. When I heard the news this morning I couldn’t even believe it. What if they’d tried to break into houses?! I’m a teenage girl, I can’t fight gunmen!

Posted from My Own Space

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