To Be Deep

I have been thinking again.
I wonder about those people. The stars. Those ones who are genetically gifted and popular with everyone and are the leaders of the pack and the envy of their friends and enemies and full of bright and beautiful and great and wonderful all at the same time.The ‘it’ people. The perfect people. Everyone likes them and they’re so confident and secure in themselves that they don’t need to like everyone back. Georgeous and talented and full of family and friends and who haven’t ever been depressed or suicidal. Never felt alone in a crowded room. Or cried themselves to sleep over some boy or some comment or their parents fighting or their loved ones dying. The ones that are too high on life to have ever sat down to analyse themselves. Or life. The ones that ‘life’ hasn’t happened to yet.
Because when you have everything there’s hardly room for worry. You know, there’s this film I saw where this character admitted she’d run away from home when she was a teenager. Not because she had any problems with school or friends or family. Actually it was because she had no problems. While all her friend’s parents were dying and divorcing, she was perfectly fine. It was actually frustrating for her. So she ran away. Because she thought it made her deeper somehow. She needed to create some sort of mid-teen crisis. At least later in life when someone asked her about her rebellious days or her sad days or her ‘deep’ days, she could say in a low, silky voice, “I ran away from home when I was fifteen. I know, it was stupid but I couldn’t take it anymore. The parents, you know…”
See, I wonder what’ll go through their minds when life hits. You know, when something bad and tragic finally happens to them and they finally have their first, deep, soul-searching thought. Because shit always happens. Sooner rather than later. And you have to deal.
At a point everyone wants to be deeper. Wants to feel and experience and think beyond the shallow surface. The idea of being ‘deeper’ isn’t even clear. It’s very wishy-washy. And it’s not held in high-esteem, seen as unnecessary a lot. But still, people go on those soul-searching trips. But the thing about being deeper is that you have to give up your glassy-eyed innocence. When you accept to feel…what is really around you, you have to accept that a lot of what you will feel won’t be nice. Because of the sort of world we live in. A lot of what we feel will be sad. Quite sad. There’s quite some happiness too because you understand things better and it helps you grow but there will be some things that you finally have to reconcile with yourself and that will be hard.
At least from what i’ve heard.
And experienced.
*little wave.
Much love all around.

Posted from My Own Space


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